Relationship Advice: Scratch An Adult, and You'll Find a Scared Child Underneath

By Steve Roberts "Scratch an adult, and you'll find a scared child underneath." Who said this? I did. Ok, it's not a very famous quote. But, I do say it, over and over. And people shake their heads yes, acknowledging that they know what I mean. "Under stress, we regress." The man who trained me many years ago said this. And I say it over and over again to people all the time. Given some stress, we drop back to a younger way of behaving, feeling and thinking. You might call it the "knee jerk reaction." So, this is the problem with many of your relationships. We see it in the boss who over-reactes. It's in the over-wrought parent who abuses a child in the name of discipline. And it is certainly in the relationship spats we have with our lovers.We're all scared children reacting in knee jerk ways as soon as any stress builds up. Unless you're more aware than most, this pattern is not immediately obvious. It can be a mystery as to why you blew up over nothing, or why your partner seems so unreasonable when you're trying to be so logical. At some level, and it's usually unconscious, we'd scared. We're afraid of experiencing some level of discomfort, and our primal training moves us to react in inappropriate ways. Add to this that our brain has spent years and years associating negative expectations to all kinds of events and it is amazing that we can have such normal relationships most of the time. And what about those people that "never" react? They are always so pleasing and never would say anything unsettling to anyone else. I guarantee that they are doing the same process on the inside. They cringe, they run away, they feel pain. Their over-compliant ways are actually a form of knee-jerkiness that defines a life-time. Compliant niceness and super-negotiability are, more often than not, a way to handle their own deep down fear that they will cause someone to have such a knee jerk reaction towards them. The Solution: How I wish I could give you a single, smart, simple answer for this problem! Not a chance! You'll be learning to live in more productive ways for the rest of your life. In fact, working on this one personality reality is what your relationships are particularly suited for. Here's the solution as simply as I can put it. First, be aware that "Under stress, we always regress." And good stress is still stress. Ever wonder how two people at a wonderful wedding celebration can suddenly have a huge argument? It's because the wedding is stressful. It's good stress, but it's still stress. Just acknowledging that this is how life works helps us to name it and bounce back faster. Secondly, realize that you can not stop regressions from occurring. With practice you'll identify it faster and recover quicker, but our reactions will always be with us lurking beneath the surface. You'll just become better and better at handling it. Thirdly, realize what maturity really is. It is NOT stopping it, but getting out of it faster and faster each time. What bothered me several days last year, may only bother me several hours this year, and next year it may only be a three second blip. It is still there but I become less and less reactive to it. This is the basis of my therapy work with couples. I help them get used to the things that each of them react to, to recognize what stresses each of them, and to grow in maturity so that they don't react so strongly in the future. I encourage you to take this short outline to heart. If I could get this little lesson deep within you, you'd never have to read another of my articles. You will ALWAYS react, but with time and awareness you can lower the power of this reactivity and create peace and serenity for you and your partner. Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight and Wisdom for your Relationships at: http://www.WhatWorksForCouples.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Roberts http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Advice:-Scratch-An-Adult,-and-Youll-Find-a-Scared-Child-Underneath&id=100142 purchase soma online usa
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Blackjack - If You Play Like This, You Can't Lose

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=David_Parkinson]David Parkinson Let me first assume that you are an experienced blackjack player. If you are then you know when to bet split and double down.If you are new to blackjack and want to learn the basics this article is not for you.There are however tables available for new players that will point you in the right direction.They are all basically the same with just slight variations and preferences.I concur with most of the tables available,but perhaps split and double down much less than recommended.You can get these tables online from any search engine - just enter "blackjack strategy" for a great selection. Those tables to guide the new player can at first seem very daunting.I would not recommend you try to remember those tables. Just log onto any low stake game and play.Refer to the tables for guidance as you play.It is amazing how quickly you pick up the procedure,and pretty soon it all becomes automatic. As the article started,I assume you are a good blackjack player,and generally finish level or win.Blackjack is moderately entertaining when playing,but i can think of better ways to pass the time.
You have to play to win - and not take all day about it ! If you adhere to this staking plan,and you are a solid player,you will win consistently.There is a big "but"in this equation - MANY OF YOU WILL NOT STICK TO THIS STAKING PLAN.I know that because i have great trouble myself,and i KNOW it works - you are just taking my word for it. Blackjack is a game where a good player and the dealer are evenly matched.About evens over a session.Maybe a good player can just about tilt it over into their favour over time with level stakes,but its an almighty struggle,and maybe not really worth it if it takes a long time(you might as well get a proper job,and that is something to be avoided). THE STAKING PLAN. The only advantage you have over the dealer is the stakes you play for - use this to your advantage - it is the only one you have got ! The one thing that can sabotage any blackjack campaign is the long losing run.Losing runs have to be eliminated,and winning runs enhanced. With this staking plan you will always work in SHORT SESSIONS.This is why it is only viable for online blackjack.You will not be able to,or want to play like this at the casino. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE LOSING(THAT IS WHEN YOU HAVE LESS CREDIT THAN WHEN YOU STARTED SESSION). If you have less credit than the amount you deposited,you must NEVER increase your stakes.Just play for level stakes,and either play through till credit has gone,or maybe till you are fed up and bored and log off.Alternatively you may have battled your way through to profit,and change your tactics accordingly. The biggest danger when behind is that it seems so easy to get straight and into profit with just one or two larger bets.You reason that you are a good blackjack player and are statistically slightly better than evens to win overall.Therefore as you are losing right now,it must swing into your favour very soon.Please resist this reasoning - a big losing run is now possible,and may take weeks of good play to repair. I want you to be bored when you are losing - log off and come back in an hour or so,refreshed and eager to get into profit in your next separate session.Make losing mundane and boring,make winning exciting and exhilarating - LOSE SMALL - WIN BIG. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE WINNING(THAT IS WHEN YOU HAVE MORE CREDIT THAN WHEN YOU STARTED SESSION). THERE ARE 2 CHOICES - PLAY RATCHET PLAN - OR GO FOR GLORY. RATCHET PLAN. As soon as you are in front you must increase your stakes.A good guide is this.If you are just in front,say at start of game,double your stakes.As,hopefully your winning run continues,so will your stakes. For simplicity lets say you play for $5 when losing and $10 when in front.This $10 will increase as you climb that winning ladder.Use this: As soon as you get OVER $200 profit your stakes will increase to $20(10%). As soon as you get OVER $300 profit your stakes will increase to $30(10%). And so on. You MUST however apply that ratchet effect when you start to slip down that winning ladder.NEVER EVER drop your stakes.If you were playing for $40 and have now slipped to say $380 - log off. Job well done,and you can again come back again in an hour or so refreshed and ready to start with ANOTHER SESSION. You may have only been playing for a couple of minutes,and want to continue as you are having such a good run.Please resist this temptation.Take your profits and go - anyway whats so bad with taking a good profit after a short session of blackjack ?.It beats sitting there for hour after hour and finishing level thats for sure. PLAN 2 - GO FOR GLORY. Once you are in front,i am quite relaxed about how you play and what your stakes are.Maybe you have got stuck $30 or $40 dollars in front and can't beat the dealer and decide to throw it all in on one bet - is this stupid ?.No i don't think so.As long as you are in front(yes i know it is now your money)I don't see anything wrong with it.However you must have the discipline when making this bet to immediately snap back to your minimum stake if you lose - not easy ! Also you may want a more relaxed staking plan to the ratchet,and again,as long as you are in credit,you really can do what you want,particularly if you have already had a couple of winning sessions earlier on,and want to really push on for a great winning day. To sum up,you simply must at all costs avoid that catastrophic losing session - this is where the casinos make their big profits.It also takes a long time to recoup those losses,and it also demoralizes you,and depletes the overall confidence. Stay in control when losing - never increase your stakes ! protect your winnings with a ratchet control ! maybe from time to time go for glory ! By David Parkinson at [http://www.sculpturebooks.co.uk/ ]British Betting and Gaming Sites., [http://www.best10gamingsites.co.uk/ ]Best 10 Gaming sites and [http://www.easyplaygames.co.uk/ ]Easy play Games.This article can be reproduced by anyone,so long as article is reproduced full and intact with all links unchanged.End of article. 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Loans For People With Bad Credit History

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Let Them See You Shine

By Addie Scott First and foremost, when it comes to having an intimate relationship, one must be comfortable with oneself. If you hate being alone, it usually has something to do with not liking who you are. If you don't like/love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? A lover, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever should compliment you, rather than complete you. If your only goal in life seems to be to find a significant other, because you don't feel whole, than it is more than likely that you will use that person as an escape from you and your reality. Work on getting to know yourself and the traits that you find you are proud of. Make a list, if you have to...a list of all the things you think are wonderful about yourself. Those are the traits that others will be drawn to. Look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis and see yourself without any barriers...the you that you should be letting others see, not the one you try to portray. Do your homework i.e. ask your friends (your real friends) and your family to honestly tell you (no holds barred) what they find so endearing about you. Compare their answers to your own and see if they match. If they don't, take a close look at what they see. Decide what you love about yourself; take those traits and play them up. If you are a woman and have mesmerizing, sexy eyes, make them pop. Remember when batting your eyelashes was synonymous with flirting? Experiment with make-up and make those eyes shine! Don't overdo it...just help them out a bit. Most men don't go for the whole "made-up" look, but a small amount in the right colors, strategically placed, will give your eyes that "come hither" look. Your eyes play a huge role in flirting. If you use face make-up, use as little as possible, while still covering up any problem areas you might have. When it comes to blush, just a tad, to give you a natural sun-kissed glow. Don't end up with clown cheeks...not attractive. Lipstick and gloss should be close to your natural lip color and not match your fire engine red shoes. One's mouth is a flirting mecca. Remember, if the relationship becomes serious, that new man in you life is going to see you sans make-up, and you don't want it to be a shocker when your face is naked. I remember I once had this boyfriend that I wanted to look great for all the time. When the relationship advanced to the point where he was spending the night with me, I used to slip quietly out of bed, very early in the morning and apply a little bit of make-up (I hadn't taken it off from the night before), and run a little water through my hair (mine is naturally curly and there is no waking up with day ready hair) and climb back into bed. I don't know how I kidded myself into thinking he believed I woke up every morning looking so damn good. Maybe I thought he was that stupid. Okay, so maybe he was.
If you're a man with gorgeous blue eyes, wear a shirt that will make them bluer. Don't be afraid of something new. Find out what colors complement your complexion and wear them. If you like that you are straight forward with people and opinionated, realize that it takes a certain kind of person to be able to have a relationship with someone like that. My first husband loved that about me when we first got together, and then years later he changed his mind. He wanted me to change, because my personality suddenly made him unhappy. I took stock of myself and decided that my strength and honesty were things I really liked about myself, and I wasn't willing to change to placate him. The marriage didn't survive. He wanted me to "put a muzzle on it", which I wasn't willing to do. Be strong. Be Confident. Don't kowtow to someone else. Live your life in a way that makes you feel comfortable and proud. On the other hand, if there are things about you that YOU feel need work on; that perhaps you aren't so proud of, work on them...hone them...fine tune them. If you find, in retrospect, that you are a half empty kind of guy/gal, consciously try to become the half full type. It may take a bit of work, but you can do it. This one takes a little effort, especially if you've been a pessimist most of your life. Start with trying to find something good in every situation, especially those that make you unhappy. You will find that if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, instead of the proverbial black cloud hanging over your head, you will slowly become more of an optimist. And once that happens, you will also find that your life becomes more pleasant, more of the time. The fact is that others can see that black cloud as well. Let them see you shine instead! Soon you may find that it's easier to "roll with the punches", "go with the flow", let things "roll off your back" like a duck does water and consequently that load on your shoulders will become lighter. You will feel better and it will rub off on others. You'll also have a lot more fun flirting! So, take stock of yourself...get to know the you that you want others to know...become comfortable with that person, learn to love that person, and get out there and knock 'em dead! Happy Dating! Happy Flirting! Addie Scott is an author and a webmistress and also offers LIVE advice on affairs of the heart. Contact her here and your first 3 minutes are FREE at Keen. You can also visit her one-stop shop for flirting and dating at www.flirtdirt.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Addie_Scott http://EzineArticles.com/?Let-Them-See-You-Shine&id=348495 online valium sale
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Be Wary of Discount Prescription Drug Cards

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Dayton] Stephen Dayton The newest thing in the American medical savings game is prescription drug cards, where users pay a monthly fee (anywhere from $10-100, approximately) that nets them discounts at their local medical establishment. Doctors, pharmacists, dentists and even hospitals are all jumping on the discount prescription drug card bandwagon. And although they sound like an excellent idea to most consumers, these discount prescription drug cards do carry some risks. This article will detail what to look out for so that you remain an informed medical consumer. How Does it All Work? Usually, discount prescription drug card programs work in the same way. The card company works on the clients behalf, getting discounts at a variety of medical establishments. However, the discounts that are purchased are not done with the provider directly, but rather with a preferred provider organization (PPO). At times, this system works so poorly that cardholders have walked into their medical establishment with their discount prescription drug card, just to be told that the institution has no knowledge of the discount program. Since there is no regulatory body for discount prescription drug cards, the people who sell these cards need not be licensed or even knowledgeable about the health care field. And when you do walk into the pharmacy with one of these cards, its hard to even tell if you are getting any sort of discount at all; many health care providers do not offer any sort of price list for their services in the first place. Is There a Problem Here? Well, some legislators in Georgia and Kansas think so. Theyve passed laws stating that discount prescription drug card providers state in prominent type that they are not insurance programs, since more than a few consumers were making this mistake. Other states have taken legal action against these discount prescription drug card companies. In one instance, Argus Health Plans was sued because allegedly they signed customers up for a free trial period, and then charged those same customers credit cards with no prior authorization for a discount card membership. More than a dozen other suits are still pending investigation or trial with other discount card providers throughout the US as well. So How Do I Save Money on My Prescription Drugs? OF course, not all discount prescription drug cards are poor consumer choices. However, without more legislation in place, consumers are at risk to be scammed while trying to save money. Of course, there are still other ways to save on your prescription drug costs, such as: - Keep dibs on the fluctuating prices of your prescription drugs, as costs can differ quite dramatically between pharmacies; - Ask your doctor to prescribe the generic version instead of the brand name version; and - Try and get health insurance coverage if you dont have it already. With a bit of know-how and investigative work, youll be able to save on your medications without having to resort to discount prescription drug cards anytime soon. Copyright Stephen C. Dayton 2005 Stephen C. Dayton is the staff writer for [http://www.rxmexonline.com/A-mexican-pharmacy/discount-prescription-drugs.html] http://www.rxmexonline.com/A-mexican-pharmacy/discount-prescription-drugs.html and author of many articles relating to health issues helping the public to be better informed of the options available to them in today's online world. Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Dayton ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Dayton [http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Wary-of-Discount-Prescription-Drug-Cards&id=77201 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?Be-Wary-of-Discount-Prescription-Drug-Cards&id=77201 order phentermine
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LG KG800 Wine: Say Cheers To This Chic Phone

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